Monday, August 15, 2016

New Beginnings

In the last month, I have changed light bulbs, unclogged my tub, changed my locks (well, watched as Heather changed my locks), hired a divorce lawyer, started counseling, secured my home so it will remain my home, paid all my bills on only my income, found new furniture, packed boxes (turns out I can turn my OCD off when its not my stuff), and started to redecorate my home. I even tried to adopt a dog, but he went to a different home. But I plan to keep looking.

I won't lie. I've also had days where I didn't eat anything and just cried all day. 

Some days, I'm terrified of what the future holds. I've never lived on my own. I went from living at home, to living as a wife. I've always known myself as a couple; I've never known myself as just me. But I'm also excited to figure out who I am on my own. 

No matter the day, good or bad, I cling to Jesus. He is my strength. I know that God has something awesome in store for me. I just needed to get rid of the garbage before I could receive it. 

I take it one day at a time. I've survived mostly on Isagenix protein shakes and coffee. I have only cooked twice, but I promise I do feed myself. Heather has made me promise to eat at least one real meal a day and I succeed at that most days. I miss cooking, but I just can't get into it right now. Hopefully soon. Baking is a happy place for me.

I'm down 25 pounds and hope to loose more. I also need to figure out an exercise routine so I don't put it all back on when I start to eat more like a normal person again.

I have found out who my real friends are (and even some who really aren't). They have showered me with love, prayers, support, food and other wonderful gifts. Each night I go to bed (wrapped in my amazing, soft blanket) and I thank God for blessing me with such amazing friends. Seriously, they are the best.

I've worked hard to remove traces of him and make my home my sanctuary. I now have my own "prayer closet" (watch War Room if you haven't) and I love spending time with God there each morning and night.

I'm beginning to see the endless possibilities of what lies before me. What once felt like the end of my life, now feels like just the beginning. That stars are my limits and I can't wait to find what makes me sparkle.

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